Intended ParentsGuest UserYou’ve gone through the surrogacy journey from start to finish. Maybe it was a quick journey with little wait time from matching to the embryo transfer, or perhaps it took a while longer to get things moving, thus giving the surrogate more time to get to know the intended parents. So, what happens between the intended parents (IPs) and the gestational carrier (GC) now that the baby has been born? There isn’t a universal answer to this question. That’s the beauty of connecting with people. We are all different, and relationships will fluctuate depending on the circumstances. The topic of the IP/GC relationship will come up during the application and matching process, as well as the psychological evaluation to ensure that everyone involved has the same expectations during the pregnancy and after the birth. When I was a surrogate, I expressed that I was okay with maintaining contact with the intended family to the extent they were comfortable with during and after the pregnancy. I did say that I wanted to be able to explain that I was a surrogate to others and share online if it was okay with them. The IPs agreed that it would be all right if they weren’t identified, and I agreed to respect their privacy. Since my IPs were local to me during the surrogacy journey, the intended mother was able to attend appointments and ultrasounds. We were able to get together a few times while I was pregnant and a few times after the baby was born. We would call and text each other regularly for updates before the baby was born and regularly for a few weeks after the baby was born. Of course, I expected that communication would be less after the birth since they would be busy enjoying their family and caring for their newborn. After the first few months, the texting slowed down a bit. She sends monthly updates and photos of milestones, which are so much fun to receive. With COVID precautions for family members in their household who work in the healthcare industry, we understandably haven’t gotten together very often. They also to another city that is only about ten minutes farther from me than they used to live, but we don’t go there as often as we go to their previous city. The intended mother has mentioned getting together to visit the next time I am in town, and we are excited to make that happen. Of course, it would be wonderful to see all of them again, so hopefully, we can get together soon. They are such good people that I had the honor of helping. Even though we might not see each other in person very often, they will always be important to our family. It's important to remember that the point of a surrogacy journey is to help grow a family. Not all IP/GC relationships will yield lifelong friendships, but many can, and this is definitely something to think about and discuss before agreeing to embark on the journey together. If you gain some lifelong friends as a result of the journey, that’s great, but it shouldn’t necessarily be the goal. Are you ready to be a surrogate?, Surrogacy, surrogate, agency, intended parent, age, older, parents, elderly, young, grow, family, pregnancy, fertility, infertility
