The Beginner's Guide to Surrogacy for Gestational Carriers/Surrogates
Embarking on a surrogacy journey is a remarkable and compassionate way to help individuals or couples achieve their dreams of growing their families. As a potential surrogate, you're considering a selfless and life-changing experience. To help you understand the process and make informed decisions, we’ve gathered some basic information for you to use as a guide.
Understand Surrogacy and Educate Yourself
If you’re here, you probably know what surrogacy is, but we’ll still explain it. Surrogacy is an arrangement in which a person agrees to carry a pregnancy and deliver on behalf of another couple or person, who are the child's parent(s). The parents are commonly known as “intended parents” or “IPs”. The person carrying the pregnancy is called a “surrogate”, “gestational carrier” or “GC”. Although everyone’s reasons for turning to surrogacy to build their families are different, reasons often include medical necessity, being a single parent, or same-sex couples.
There are two main types of surrogacy: traditional and gestational. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate's own egg is fertilized with the intended father's sperm either by intrauterine insemination (IUI) or in vitro fertilization (IVF). Gestational surrogacy uses IVF, so the embryo is created outside of the body using the intended parents' or donor gametes (egg and sperm), then transferred to the surrogate's uterus. With gestational surrogacy, there is no genetic relation between the surrogate and the baby. Bright Futures Families only does gestational surrogacy journeys.
Begin by gathering information about surrogacy. Research online (we’re glad you’re here), read books, join surrogacy forums, and consult with professionals. Understand the different types of surrogacy arrangements, legal aspects, emotional considerations, time requirements, and medical procedures involved. Being well-informed will empower you to make the right decisions and ease any anxiety you may have.
Thinking of Becoming a Surrogate? Consider the Following:
Personal Motivation
Reflect on your reasons for wanting to become a surrogate. Common motivations include the desire to help others, personal connections to infertility, fulfilling a sense of purpose, and being positive change in the world. Understand that surrogacy journeys, while fulfilling, can be physically and emotionally taxing and take a significant amount of time.
Support System
Surrogacy can be emotionally and physically demanding. Ensure you have a strong support system, including family, friends, mental health professionals, and support groups to help you navigate the journey. You’ll need someone who can help care for your child(ren) during appointments, meetings, procedures, labor and delivery, and if something unexpected happens or you are placed on bedrest. Your partner (if applicable) will need to be on board with you becoming a surrogate, because they will need to participate in some of the medical and psychological assessments and be able to help you during the process. Help your child(ren) understand the situation. There are a lot of books that can help with this. Bright Futures Families will assign a case manager to guide and support you through the steps, and you will be invited to our surrogate meetups and groups on social media.
Eligibility
Due to the nature of surrogacy, surrogates need to meet certain criteria. You'll need to be within a specified age range, have a healthy BMI, have given birth to and be raising at least one child without pregnancy or delivery complications, be financially stable, not be receiving any government assistance, and have an overall healthy lifestyle. (We have more information about surrogate eligibility on our website.) Medical records reviews, medical evaluations, psychological assessments, and interviews will be conducted to ensure your eligibility. Many of these items warrant further discussion, so if you have any questions, please contact us.
Legal
Legal processes vary depending on your location. Consult with a legal expert experienced in surrogacy to understand your rights, responsibilities, and the legal framework of the surrogacy arrangement. Part of the surrogacy process through Bright Futures Families includes a surrogacy contract created by the intended parent(s), the surrogate, and their attorneys, which will outline expectations and rights for all parties involved. For those who choose not to use an agency for their journey, it’s a good idea for surrogates and intended parents to have separate legal representation to create a legal contract for their surrogacy arrangement.
The Process:
Apply to Become a Surrogate
Surrogacy agencies like Bright Futures Families can help match you with intended parents, provide support, and guide you through the process. We would love to walk alongside you on your journey! When you’re ready to fill out our gestational carrier intake form, visit www.brightfuturesfamilies.com/apply. One of our intake coordinators will contact you within two business days. If you qualify, we will send you a longer, more thorough application via email.
Medical Records Review
Once you’ve signed medical records releases, we will send them off to your previous obstetrician(s) so we may obtain your pregnancy and delivery medical records. Our physician will review them, and hopefully you will be medically cleared.
Additional Forms, Interview, and Evaluation
You’ll also complete background check releases, a benefits package form, and OB release form. We’ll need copies of ID and pay stubs for you and your spouse (if applicable), and insurance documents. (Additional documents may be required.) We’ll also schedule an interview with you and a member of our staff, and we offer daytime, evening, and weekend appointments. You will then complete a psychological evaluation, and once cleared, will be officially cleared to be a surrogate with Bright Futures Families!
Matching
We prepare your surrogate profile and present it to potential intended parents. Throughout the process, we make note of your preferences, expectations, personality, and so on and take those into consideration when presenting a match. The intended parents are presented surrogate profiles one at a time, and the intended parents let us know whether they are interested in having a match meeting with you before they are presented with another surrogate profile to consider. If they are interested in having a match meeting, you as the surrogate are provided with their profile to see if you are interested in meeting them. If you are not interested in meeting them, you will be presented with another potential IP profile who has expressed interest in meeting you. If you are interested, a member of our team will facilitate a match meeting, which can be done in person or virtually, depending on the situation. If it isn’t a good match, then we go back and reconsider potential matches and repeat. If everyone wants to move forward, then congratulations - it’s a match - and the real fun begins!
Keep in mind that matching can take a few months, and it is important to be honest and ask questions at any time.
Medical Workup
You’ll complete a full medical workup at the intended parents’ IVF clinic.
Legal
You and the intended parents will decide on separate legal representation to create and negotiate a legal contract for your surrogacy arrangement. Your intended parents will pay for your legal fees. The contract will ensure that the intended parents are the legal parents of the child and will include your compensation plan and any other specific items anyone feels strongly about. For example, whether the surrogate will pump breastmilk for the baby after delivery.
Medication and Embryo Transfer
A licensed reproductive endocrinologist (fertility doctor) will prescribe the medication necessary to prepare your body for embryo transfer. This will be a rigid schedule for self-administered medications, which could be given via injection, patch, suppository, etc. depending on the specific needs of that individual and instructions given by the doctor. You'll also need to attend regular medical appointments and the embryo transfer. We’ll support you all along the way with any questions you may have or support you may need.
Pregnancy
After the embryo is transferred (and hopefully successfully implants), you will continue to go to the intended parents’ clinic for monitoring, until you are released to your obstetrician at around 10-12 weeks gestation. With a few exceptions, your pregnancy should then progress like any other from that point forward. You'll receive medical care, and your health and well-being will be closely monitored. Open and transparent communication with the intended parents is crucial throughout the pregnancy. These are discussions that everyone will have during the matching and legal phases of your journey, including whether they will be present for appointments, video chat, or if they’d like you to share photos and updates. Be sure to check with the clinic and OB to see what they allow. The intended parents and their attorney will take the lead (you will sign) to get the Pre-Birth Parentage Order (PBO) ready to ensure their names will go on the birth certificate. The agency will also communicate with the hospital where you will deliver to ensure they are aware of the situation.
Delivery and Postpartum
When the time comes, you'll give birth to the baby. The legal and emotional aspects of delivery and returning the baby to his or her parents should be discussed and agreed upon well in advance. Depending on these agreements, the intended parents could be present for the birth, and the relationship can continue through updates and ongoing contact if desired. Some surrogates will pump breastmilk for the intended parents and will either meet up with them to drop off milk or ship it. After the birth, you may experience a mix of emotions. Usually, it is fulfillment and pride in helping grow another family. It's essential to have a support network to help you process various feelings. Many surrogates enjoy maintaining a connection with the intended parents and the child they helped bring into the world, but that is not required. For a few months after the birth, Bright Futures Families will check in on the surrogate and intended parents.
Remember, surrogacy is a profound journey that requires careful consideration. Take your time, ask questions, and prioritize your well-being and the well-being of everyone involved. Your compassion and selflessness can bring immeasurable joy to a family.