Reasons Why I Will Become a Surrogate Again
One of the best experiences I’ve ever had was being a surrogate. Many surrogates would likely agree that carrying a baby for someone else is worth it! I initially applied in early 2019, shortly after my daughter was born. We needed to wait a while to proceed to allow plenty of time between pregnancies, but after that waiting period, the whole thing flew by with hardly any issues. Now that my surrogacy journey is over, people sometimes ask me if I plan to do it again. Without hesitation, my head says yes, but there are actually some things I would seriously need to consider before embarking on a second journey. I really enjoyed the experience the first time and want to do it again, but so much has happened since the baby’s birth that I need to consider before making that decision.
The surrogate baby was born in March of 2021. She was born healthy, and the delivery and recovery process was smooth for me. I pumped breast milk for about 2 or 3 weeks and met with the intended parents to drop it off, and I have seen them a couple of times since then. We text back and forth to keep in touch and are both so grateful to have gotten to know each other and do this journey together.
Of course, I would love to help another family grow. The intended parents I was matched with only wanted one more child, so if I were to do another journey it would have to be for another family. I think it would definitely feel strange at first since I had such a great experience with my intended parents, and honestly, there is a small part of me that worries that things wouldn’t be as smooth a second time. The first time was just too perfect! It would be awesome to do it all again having been through it once already because we would have a better idea of what to expect. I had fun learning all about the process, but I also know that every pregnancy is different and that things won’t be the same as they were the first time. I would like to be an example again for my children and educate others about surrogacy. That was one of the most fun parts of everything – getting to explain what we were doing and answer questions. A lot of times, people don’t know anyone who has been a surrogate, so they are fascinated and have a lot of questions. The more people learn about surrogacy and all the ways to grow a family, the better! Selfishly, I would like to be a surrogate again because it felt good to help someone else. How often do you get to help potentially expand a family tree by an entire branch? That’s huge!
As much as I want to become a surrogate again, life has done its thing since the birth of the baby and put things on hold for me. There have been a couple of health issues in my family, and some of my other responsibilities have gotten more intense since March of 2021. With everything going on, I worry that I wouldn’t be able to manage things while ensuring that I do what I’m supposed to do as a surrogate.
While it may sound like things have been bad, we actually have great news! My husband and I had thought we were finished having children of our own, but about six months after I delivered the surro baby, we found out that we were expecting our third child. As I write this, I am 32 weeks pregnant with a baby girl. While we are thrilled, this pregnancy has been quite a bit harder than my first three were with various unexpected hiccups. In fact, as I write this, I am in my OB’s office to complete a three-hour glucose tolerance test for gestational diabetes, since I failed the first one a few weeks ago. A gestational diabetes diagnosis could affect my eligibility to become a surrogate again. We are hopeful that things will come back normal and that the baby and I will have a smooth ride through the last leg of the pregnancy. That being said, there is a real possibility that I may not be able to do a second journey. Fortunately, we understand that women who are ineligible to become surrogates can still advocate for and show support to those facing infertility. If that’s the route I need to take moving forward rather than my goal of being a surrogate again, I will be okay with that too.