All Things Termination

This is a difficult subject. Even just searching for a picture to use with this blog post I typed in “difficult decisions”. The last thing intended parents and surrogates want to have to do is make the decision to terminate a pregnancy. This is why when you apply to our agency, we talk a lot about your views on termination. We want you to really think about it and be honest because if it comes down to it, we want the surrogate and their IPs to be on the same page. By knowing beforehand we can match you with someone with similar views, making the process that much smoother.

So, aren’t you either for or against termination? It’s not so simple. One of the first conversations I have with you are about some basic termination categories to get an idea of what your views are. I really want you to start thinking about the process and what it can entail from the first time we speak.

The first category is you are “ok with termination”, this means that you are ok with termination for any reason that the intended parents decide to terminate. Keep in mind that intended parents have spent a lot of time and money on this process and they aren’t going to terminate unless there is good reason. An example of why they could decide to terminate is they find out during the pregnancy that the baby has a major birth defect that will cause him/her to suffer and pass away soon after birth.

The next category is “no to termination”. This means that you will not terminate for any reason…even if your life is in danger. I don’t think this requires more explanation.

Another category is “reduction only”. This means if you get pregnant with multiples and the intended parents decide to terminate one of the multiples, you are on board with this. They could make this decision for a few reasons. It might be medically necessary to increase the chances that one fetus will thrive if the others are terminated. It might be medically necessary for the health of the surrogate. She might not be handling a multiple pregnancy well so for her safety they decide to reduce. It could be because the intended parents only want one or two children and an embryo split adding to that equation.

Then there is “term only danger to life.” This means it is medically necessary for the health of the surrogate to terminate. Sometimes in pregnancy, not just surrogacy pregnancies but any pregnancy, complications arise and put the life of the mother/surrogate at risk. In these cases an abortion could be the only thing that can save her life.

There is also a category called “no term for down-syndrome”. This means that you are not willing to terminate if the baby is diagnosed with down-syndrome during the pregnancy.

You could decide a combination of these termination categories fits your view best. The more detail you go into, the better we can match you with IPs with similar views. Once you have a match meeting, all of this is discussed again…and again during legal. We don’t take this lightly and neither should you. Be honest and go with what feels right for you. We don’t want you to change your views just to be matched faster.

~ The Honest Surrogate